I’ll be meeting my dream girl in the very, very near future. Nothing too amazing except that she’s the perfect girl for me. I’d go about telling you why she’s perfect, but she’s already spoken for at this point and I’m not interested in getting other people to find her interesting.
My buddy knows that there are always surprises that could come up, even with the perfect girl. So he told me that if things aren’t going right I could call him and just use some sort of code in order to explain my situation. Here’s the code list that he gave me.
“I’m having eggs and bacon for breakfast tomorrow”
meaning - help me she’s really a man.
“I’m driving to her place”
meaning - kidnapped and being held against my will.
“She’s gorgeous looking”
meaning - definitely not her pictures she looks like an ape.
“She offered to pay for dinner”
meaning - she is in fact a professional and I’m out seven grand, tell my mom it’s back to retirement plan b - shopping cart.
“I have a headache and am taking a bath”
meaning - she was gorgeous the night was great but I just woke up in a bathtub missing several organs.
