I was in love. I still am. I love a girl that isn’t ready for a relationship. So what do I do? I act like a retard and just wait until she’s ready. And wait. And wait. And wait.
A friend of mine took over my texting with the girl today. He let me send everything myself but typed up everything for me. He’s a great friend and like me, just doesn’t want to see friends get hurt. And I’ve been hurting. I actually got hurt several times. And he knew that I would continue to get hurt and wouldn’t ever stop it.
See, the girl of my dreams isn’t interested in meeting me in person. So I’ve had a non-in-person relationship for months with this girl. I’ve been in love with her for a while and have been hoping for her to decide to meet me in person. The problem is that I’ve been hoping. And while I’m hoping, I’ve giving her great emotional support as she has been doing even greater for me.
According to my friends (yes, I’m admitting that I have more than one friend) she would never meet with me. I kept doubting my friends, but they were right. I kept arguing with them, but they were right and I was wrong. I don’t care that I was wrong, I was just sad that they were right.
So now I’m sitting here with heartbreak. It’s really painful. I’ve nearly cut off my thumb, been in multiple car accidents, was struck by a car while on a bicycle, had a doctor remove skin from an arm without giving me novocaine, and had many other bad physical pains in my life. None of them hurt like this. I’m sure that it will go away, but for now, I think that death might come before heartbreak goes away.
I will always love you Lori.
